REVIEW: Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3

Written by Larry Hama, art by Marcello Ferreira, published by Dark Horse

I tried playing COD once. It started on an assault course, the target practice area. There was a noisy Sargent bellowing down my earhole. So I shot him and the screen went black with a message that told me I’d been dishonorably discharged. That was enough COD for me.

I’ve just chewed through the comic, it’s about some badly drawn military types of the kind found in cheap TV shows regurgitating hardware manuals instead of dialogue. That’s basically all there is to it.

The art owes a lot to the school for the blind. There’s a character called…(fuck me)…the “Wet Witch” a woman who whose very good at violence and is, supposedly, very sexy. I say “supposedly” because her mannequin-esque body and wooden poses would give you splinters if you tried to wank over it. The colour in a word, brown.

There’s action, but it’s been modelled after children playing army men. For as much sense as the script makes they may as well fill the word balloons with “pew pew pew”

Hama seems to have confused being a writer with being a director on a dvd commentary. “Shaped charge in place!” “Fire in the hole!” “Gate is open send in the van!” No need Hama! The art work seems to be depicting these actions. Not brilliantly, but watching these poor deformed souls hooning about in those panels got the message across.

I really wish I could shoot this dishonorable discharge.

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