*Warning: The following review contains strong language and opinions. If you are easily offended by either I strongly suggest that you stop reading immediately. The opinions expressed in this review are those of the reviewer and do not reflect the views or opinions of comiccrusaders.com, its management, or any affiliates, sponsors, or employees.*
Over the course of my time in comics (24 years of fandom) I have read tens of thousands of books from every source you can think of. I pride myself on being open minded when beginning new material. The benefit of the doubt always goes to the creators. From big publishers to Indy press– who print their books on printer paper and staple it together by hand. I’m a huge comic book nerd.
I would like to think that with two plus decades of experience I can find just the right way to sum up how I feel about Realm of the Dripildofs by Evoluzione. Allow me to wax poetic for just a moment if I might.
FUCK! SHIT! ASSHOLE! FUCKING SHITBALLS ON FIRE! SHIT! ASS! BITCH! PUS FILLED MUSCUS HOLE OF BLEEDING SACKS OF MOLTEN ANUS!!! GOD-DAMN WORTHLESS SACKS OF BURNING DOG SHIT! FUCK! ASS! MOTHER FUCKING WASTE OF TIME GODDAMMIT! WHY? WHY? WHY GOD? BURN ME IN THE FIRERY LAKES OF FIRE UNTIL ALL THAT REMAINS IS MY PUCKERED ASSHOLE! FUCK! FUCK! FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There. I think you get the idea.
This is my third review for the gang at Evoluzione. It will be my last. How these guys have banded together to create comics is beyond me. Is this a group of high school kids with too much time and money? Has anyone in their company ever cracked open a comic and read one before? I am at a complete loss at how this has made it to print! This is obviously self-publishing at its worst. There is no editorial oversight happening here. There is no one pointing out the insane mistakes that have made it to the page. From plot to pacing, to characterization to colors, to art to inks to EVERY SINGLE ELELMENT OF WHAT MAKES A COMIC A COMIC… this is a total failure and deserves to be locked away for all eternity if not placed in a pile and burned.
I didn’t even make it through the issue. I physically could not force myself to go on! I understand that these are young creators beginning their careers, but someone has to tell them to stop right now and quit publishing your early works. Go back to your rooms and learn your craft. Practice until your fingers bleed and then and only then are you ready to submit your work for public consumption. I know its fun to make little comics with your friends, but this is ridiculous. This should never—NEVER !!!!! — Be placed in front of a reviewer or a fan. This is utter dog crap and the creators of this work should be ashamed of themselves for allowing this to get out.
You know what? I take it back. This is a comic that should be handed to every young writer and creator and told “This is what you don’t do. This is how you fail.” Pure and simple. We may have found the Tommy Wiseau of comic books. The only difference is that the director of “The Room” is beloved because his work is so bad that it’s entertaining. This is just terrible.
Final Thoughts: I need a stiff drink and some blood pressure medication.
Final Grade: 0 Stars
Realm of the Dripildofs
Story: Guido Martinez
Art/Inks: Lea Caballero
Letters: Joshua Gorfain
Publisher: Evoluzione Publishing
Can be purchased at: Realm Of The Dripildofs – Evolzuione Publishing | DriveThruComics.com & The Realm Of The Dripildofs